Glenn Beck is hereto forthwith declared illegal. “Glenn Beck” will be described from for all purposes of this document as:
1. Having between 10% and 50% of the voting adult population as audience.*
2. Crying on nation television
3. Delivering ultimatums to the Whitehouse
4. Accusing US senators of being terrorists
5. Asking questions that no-one else asks, because they are not crazy, uninformed, and arrogant.
Those found to be Glenn Beck will not be given a trial, but given a choice of either:
1. Pursuing a Harvard education in sociology, education, political science, as well as minoring in philosophy and math.
*Provisions for 50% or more viewers may be seen in the document “Operation Grassy Knoll”
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