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Stupid New Jersey Laws

Pickles are outlawed on Sundays

This town denies you from having a pickle on your burger while watching football on Sundays.

Filed in: Trenton

Bad pickles are not to be thrown on the street

Throwing a bad pickle on the street is not allowed.  There’s a John Bobbitt joke in there somewhere.

Filed in: Trenton

Boiling bones on your property is illegal

It is illegal to boil any type of bones on your property.

Filed in: Sea Isle City

Swearing is strictly prohibited

Say and curse word and you’ll be sent to jail.  Darn.

Filed in: Raritan

Doctor’s note needed to buy ice cream after 6pm

Without a note from your doctor, you won’t be able to buy an ice cream cone after 6pm.  This is considered illegal and you can be fined or jailed.

Filed in: Newark

Annoying others in your house while intoxicated is illegal

This is a good law that’ll send your belligerent family member or friend to jail.

109-1. Unlawful acts.

A. No person shall, within the limits of the Township of Mount Laurel:

(1) Be intoxicated or drunk or disorderly in any public omnibus, street, highway, thoroughfare or on any sidewalk or in any private house, home or in any boardinghouse, store, restaurant or other private, public or quasi-public place or house to the annoyance of any person.

Filed in: Mount Laurel

Giving whiskey or smokes to a zoo animal is illegal

Just Say No… to wasting whiskey and smokes on zoo animals.  They’re already pampered enough!

Filed in: Manville

Annoying someone of the opposite sex is prohibited

There must be a lot of divorces in this town.   Are there couples that don’t fight? No.

Filed in: Haddon

It’s illegal to cross dress

Men: put away those panties as it’s illegal to wear them in Haddon, NJ

Filed in: Haddon

Bathing tag required before you hop in that pool

You must first obtain a bathing tag from the Township Clerk before you jump into the Crystal Lake pool.

Filed in: Haddon

Women walkin on Sundays are required to wear a petticoat or underskirt

It is prohibited for women to walk down Broad Street on Sundays without wearing a petticoat or underskirt.

Filed in: Elizabeth

Cats must warn birds of their whereabouts

Just to be fair and go against nature, all cats must wear 3 bells so that birds are aware of the cats whereabouts.

Filed in: Cresskill