Stupid New Jersey Laws
Do not park your boat on your lawn
Parking your boat on your lawn will result in a fine and/or confiscation of your boat.
Wearing shorts and dancing on the main avenue is prohibited
This town prohibits it’s citizens from wearing shorts and dancing when walking down the main avenue. This town obviously don’t like David Bowie’s song “Dancing in the Streets”.
Ashing your cigarette on the sidewalk is illegal
You’d be caned in other countries for this action, but in New Jersey it’s just not allowed.
171-7. Ashes or waste on sidewalks.
No ashes, refuse or other waste shall be deposited on any of the sidewalks or in or on any streets or other public place in the township.
Shade trees that obscure light and air are illegal
You could face a stiff penalty if you own a tree by the street and it obscures the light and air.
171-2. Shade trees. The streets of the township shall be used for the purpose of public travel only, with such other use of the same as is necessarily connected with public travel. Shade trees may be planted along the streets, highways, and alleys, but not within the prescribed limits of the same. Such trees shall be planted so as not to obscure light and air and shall not be so close as to interfere with the lawful use of such streets, highways and alleys. They shall be properly trimmed by the owners of adjoining premises. No person shall wantonly or negligently cut or destroy any such shade trees without the consent of the owner of the adjoining premises and of the Committee and occupants.
Be happy or be in jail
Frowning in the frown-free town zone is illegal and send you to jail where you’ll really be frowning!
Delaying a homing pigeon is illegal
Homing pigeons are the FedEx and UPS of the animal kingdom. Delaying or detaining them could send you to jail.
Horse carriages have the right of way
Cars are not allowed to pass horse carriages.
DUI = say goodbye to your personalized license plate
A DUI or DWI conviction could lead to your personalized license plate application being denied.
Frowning at an officer is against the law
Women trying to get out of a ticket by frowning and crying might spend a night in jail.
No knitting during fishing season
It’s illegal for men to knit during fishing season. Get your mom to knit you a sweater.
Wearing a bullet-proof vest while robbing someone is illegal
It is unlawful to use a body vest while committing a crime (murder, manslaughter, robbery, sexual assault, burglary, kidnapping, criminal escape or assault).
2C:39-13. Unlawful use of body vests
1.Unlawful use of body vests. A person is guilty of a crime if he uses or wears a body vest while engaged in the commission of, or an attempt to commit, or flight after committing or attempting to commit murder, manslaughter, robbery, sexual assault, burglary, kidnapping, criminal escape or assault under N.J.S.2C:12-1b. Use or wearing a body vest while engaged in the commission of, or an attempt to commit, or flight after committing or attempting to commit a crime of the first degree is a crime of the second degree. Otherwise it is a crime of the third degree.
As used in this section, “body vest” means bullet-resistant body armor which is intended to provide ballistic and trauma protection.
L.1983,c.152,s.1; amended 1999, c.306.