There will be no oral sex of any kind in the prudish state of Oklahoma or face a year in jail and a $2,500 fine.  I sure hope the girls go to out-of-state schools, no wonder the divorce rate is so high in America!

You are not allowed to make weird facial expressions to any dog you could be fined or put in jail.

It is highly illegal to read Playboy, Hustler, Jugs or another other reading material while driving.

It is highly unlawful to hunt whales and elephants in the state of Oklahoma, those convicted are forced to endure forty eight fucking hours of listening to christian preacher radio without sleep.

Women are prohibited from doing their own hair if they are not licensed by the state of Oklahoma to do so. Negligence?

Not only do they expressly ban the viewing of the areola, public hear, ass and  genitals, but they don’t allow you to have sex with  hamsters, gerbils, deer, moose, snakes or cows! How boring!

37-537.2.

No owner, operator, partner, manager, or person having supervisory control of any establishment licensed to sell or serve intoxicating beverages shall permit any of the following on or about any commercial premises where intoxicating beverages are dispensed or consumed:

1. The performance by any person of acts, or simulated acts, of sexual intercourse, masturbation, sodomy, bestiality, oral copulation, flagellation, or any sexual acts which are otherwise prohibited by law;

2. The actual intentional touching or caressing or fondling by any person of the breasts, anus or genitals;

3. Any person on the licensed premises while such person is unclothed or in such attire, costume or clothing as to expose to view any portion of the areola of the female breast or any portion of the pubic hair, buttocks or genitals; or

4. Any person to perform acts of, or acts which simulate, sexual acts which are prohibited by law, or permit any person to use artificial devices or inanimate objects to depict any prohibited activities or permit the showing of films, still pictures, electronic reproductions or other visual reproductions depicting any of the prohibited activities described in this paragraph.

One is not allowed to promote, market or advertise an event containing horse tipping in Oklahoma.

21-1700.

A. It is unlawful for any person to:

1. Promote, engage in, or be employed at a bear wrestling exhibition or horse tripping event;

2. Receive money for the admission of another person to any place where bear wrestling or horse tripping will occur;

3. Sell, purchase, possess, or offer a horse for any horse tripping event;

 

4. Sell, purchase, possess, or train a bear for any bear wrestling exhibition;

5. Subject a bear to alteration in any form for purposes of bear wrestling including, but not limited to, removal of claws or teeth, or severing tendons; or

6. Give any substance to a bear, inject any substance into a bear, or cause a bear to ingest or inhale any substance for the purposes of bear wrestling.

B. Any person violating the provisions of this section shall, upon conviction, be guilty of a misdemeanor punishable by imprisonment in the county jail not exceeding one (1) year, or by a fine of not more than Two Thousand Dollars ($2,000.00), or by both such fine and imprisonment. In addition, the court may require the violator to make restitution and reimbursements to the state, any of its political subdivisions, or to any society which is incorporated for the prevention of cruelty to animals for housing, feeding, or providing medical treatment to any animals used or intended for use in violation of this section.

C. Upon the arrest of any person pursuant to any provision of this section, the arresting law enforcement agency or animal control office shall have authority to seize and take custody of all animals in the possession of the arrested person which are the basis of an arrest pursuant to the provisions of this section. Upon conviction, the court shall have authority to order the forfeiture of all animals seized which are the basis of the conviction pursuant to the provisions of this section. Any animals ordered forfeited may be placed in the custody of a society which is incorporated for the prevention of cruelty to animals.

D. As used in this section, “horse tripping” means to cause an animal of the equine species to fall or lose its balance with the use of a wire, pole, stick, rope or other object. The term does not include the lawful laying down of a horse for medical purposes or for the purposes of identification.